Friday mornings are usually good days for me- heck for anybody that works a 9-5, M-F job. It is the portal to the weekend and we are all just waiting to be catapulted through it; I am no different.
This Friday morning I experienced an ironic life threatening event. I almost drown on Coke. Do I hear snickering?? I am dead (no pun intended) serious. Now those of you that know me can see the complete irony in this. (Read my previous blog- the paragraph touting the virtues of places to get the best Coke in my area and you can get a feel of how much I love it!) How ironic that the very thing I love--nay--that is my life blood--should almost be my demise. It is like an Olympic swimmer drowning, a Chef choking on his own food, you get it right?
So, I am cooking breakfast for my husband and decide to taste test it. I bite off a huge chunk of Kielbasa and it is H-O-T! So I go to take a swig of Coke and something has gone amiss..I have lost my talent to multitask momentato--and I can not swallow both at the same time...The kielbasa goes one way and the Coke goes the other- up my nose from my throat--it was almost poetic, Sylvia would be proud of the drama of it!
Except. That. I. Can't. Breath. With Coke up my nose, kielbasa stuck in my throat. It was a hot mess and my life passed before my eyes. As did WRAL news headlines of my suspicious death.
My husband, completely oblivious to my plight, as usual, is calling from the bedroom to get him some socks. Here I am dying and cooking his breakfast- I should be deemed a saint--and he wants socks. In the big scheme of things how important would those socks have been if he came in and found me hunched over the stove- dead from drowning, knowing he could have saved me if only he had come through the kitchen to the laundry room to get his own socks.
Luckily, I can rely on my own devices and did the self Heimlich and saved myself - all this and not even late for work!
(I can hear Alanis Morrsette's Ironic playing in my head!)
No comments:
Post a Comment